This can show up as
- Struggling to accept a compliment, or quietly dismissing it
- Comparing yourself to others and usually coming up short
- A harsh inner voice that's quicker to criticise than to encourage
- Feeling like you have to earn approval, rather than simply having it
- Avoiding things you'd like to try, out of fear of not being good enough
None of this means something is wrong with you. Often, it's the residue of messages picked up a long time ago, about what was acceptable, lovable, or good enough, that have quietly settled in and never been questioned.
How therapy can help
I won't try to talk you out of the belief, or convince you it's wrong. In my experience, that rarely works. Instead, therapy is a space to get curious about where it came from, and what's kept it going. Slowly, that tends to loosen its grip, not because you've been told to think differently, but because it's been properly understood.
If any of this sounds familiar, you're welcome to get in touch for a first conversation.